Life in Oz

This is a hard love to be in

Like a roller coaster on the terrifying pitch

Downward

But at least then you know

Where you’ll end up

My heart breaks a little

Every day

Because I am not delusional

It must have been as it was

It is what it is

Que sera, sera, like the old song says

I love someone who took me at my word

To Demand Much of me

Not believe me naïve or innocent

To treat me as a Woman, not a Girl

And that Woman, his Meet

Inherited from my Mothers and Mothers and Mothers

This Hollywood Dream of Happily Ever After

When ten thousand years

Have shown the work the struggles the failures

The pain and loss of Loving

And yet this Love is Inspiration!

So Erotic!

So Exquisitely Unsatisfying!

Why would I ever want to Settle

For mere happiness?

There is that emptiness

Nights of deep Midnight Blue

Mornings of unfilled arms

Vacant side of the bed

His scent, his warmth, just a Dream

This is where the Strength and Power come in

Except I feel so small and insignificant at times

Like Dorothy in Oz

Spirit guttering

Like candle flame in the wind

Flaring twisting almost winking out

Fed by Memory and Imagination

And his inconstant attention

He will not let me slip away

Though I pull, though I pull,

He senses the tightening

Moving away

And sings to me his songs of Love

Calls to me in Dreams

Caught again in his silken web

I am lost

Auntie Em! Auntie Em!

Will I ever be Home and Comfortable

Again?

His face in human guise

Looking down at me with his soul

In his eyes?

You know there is no Going Home

Here in Oz

We create our own Colours