Saturday, July 17, 2010

glass bead game

 
 
 
                                                                                                                MC Escher  
 
The days slip off the chain of my life
Like beads from a broken necklace
Scattering
They roll under the dresser, under the bed
Lost in the carpet
Sucked into the ravenous maw of the vacuum
Along with cat hair, carpet fuzz and broken plastic toys
Discarded without thought
Or consciousness
I am thus depleted
 
Yesterday
In an overlooked corner
A bead of purple glass appeared
Held to the light, an image came to view
A summer day of years ago
When you and I were young
Our faces lit with so much love
More luminous even
Than the sun-drenched sky
That day, so long forgotten
In the Rush to Life
Opened the golden eyes of memory
And I could feel the hot sun on my skin
Hear the breakers crash and roar
Taste the salt air on my lips
along with your kisses
 
where had they gone,
these memories?
In haste, I scoured every nook and cranny
Finding sometimes one bead, sometimes two
Or more
And each one held a vision from my past
My father’s 52 Olds, that he named Susie
My mother putting wet laundry in the fridge
Till “the girl” came in to do the ironing
My brothers’ endless battles, my sister’s hacked up dolls
Girl Scout camp and family vacations
Fighting over the “back back” of our station wagon
Moving day and laundry day
And the day my brother died
 
You’d think I’d have remembered that
Our house festooned with black
Mirrors covered
Mother dry-eyed in the corner chair
Stunned beyond belief
No child noise in the house for once
All games put aside
In the vast moonscape of grief
So many long lost friends
Now dust, but vibrant still and glowing
In hearts of glass
Living forever in the eyes
Of those who can find
Just the right angle to capture the Light
 
Alas, here comes the Nurse
What was her name?
No matter
I know what she will say
“Miz Twinin’, y’all know you ain’t supposed
T’be playin with them beads.
Doc’ll Skin Me and I let you choke.
C’mon give ‘em to me now, and I’ll just put ‘em safe.”
Quickly I reach out
My worn and veiny hand
And cover One
The bluest clearest one
So like your eyes, that rivaled Heaven
In Brightness and in Hue
 
The heart that pulses in this bead,
I know, is the day we first made love
You always looked so Young
When we came together
No matter how old we grew
I could ever see that boy in you
The Wonder and the Music
Bathing me like rain
After a drought
 
I slip the bead into the pocket of my robe
As Nurse approaches
They think that I remember Nothing
And thus I am the Master of the Game
 
 

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