Tuesday, September 20, 2022

The Troubadour of Plochmann Lane



levon helm 615.jpg 
                                                                          for Levon

the cherry red kit still resonates

with beating heart weaving in and out

of generations

the Weight of remembrance

lies heavy on us

as you turn and wave

and disappear into the stardust cosmos

leaving hot music nights

and dancing days

the echoes of songs wrenched

from hardscrabble beginnings

and Wild journeys through innocence

and bold experience

 

too soon your Voice subtracted

too soon the Dance winds down

songs rise like prayers

as mist from the lake’s surface

in the frosty dawn

absorbed into the ether

when there’s nowhere else to go

except Forever

 

candy apple red

reverberations

of notes played among other demons

other gods

an empty glove a bottle of water

and sticks just set aside

such homely touches

and i bet you never smelled

so damn many roses in all your life!

more like Sweat

from crazy dancers

lit like Fires in the midnight

more like smoke and burning herb

and wet dog

and starshiny catskill evenings

 

sweet with harmony

sticky with barbeque

noisy with children dodging between the notes

the beats the rhythms

of the Music that remains

when there is nowhere else to go

except Home

 

 

©2012 pamela twining

 

 

 

Thursday, July 14, 2022

Sitting at the Feet of Gamaliel

   

 


 for Peter Lamborn Wilson


a hard person to know

obstinate entitled

full of himself

he knows Everything

Brilliant

generous without mentioning it

brushes off Thanks with a change of subject

he’s forgotten more than most

will ever know

sneaky sense of humor

sometimes one won’t even realize

they’ve Heard a joke

let alone get it

food issues

Everything Must Be Just So

combinations of foods he “can’t have”

oddly juxtaposed with Junk Food

(only Upscale junk food Imported

labels written in foreign languages)

“Get me a haggis!” he says, Insists

though it has to be ordered from god knows where

arrives encased in Styrofoam & ice

and now to prepare it - “How?”

“I don’t know! I’ve never Had it before!”

& ducks

ducklings Must be from Long Island

there’s only One duck farm on LI now

but they’re no longer tender like they used to be

disappointment ensues  

“Contact that Amish farm somewhere in PA

I think their name’s Miller; just google it “

 

he Refuses to have a computer or to use email

that’s My job or Raymond’s

he can Never remember the doctor’s instructions

says when the doc starts talking

there’s a buzzing sound in his head

What??

so I have to go into the exam room with him

be his ears there

the doctors & nurses somehow immune

to his instructions it falls on me to figure out

how to achieve what the doctor ordered

sometimes he just Won’t

he just Won’t to his own detriment

but he goes on

he goes on seems like Forever

as younger healthier people than he

go down to dust

 

I can Still hardly remember he’s gone

his presence in My life in Andy’s in Raymond’s

seems unquenchable

he still conducts Teachings and Interviews

still spends Hours & Days on the phone

with his few or only intellectual peers

speaking of esoteric subjects

at the Pinnacle of Knowledge

the tip or the peak of the mountain

that no one else has managed to hike to

his personal Everest

Lines of elders & youngers striving

to reach that peak

gasping for breath but still climbing

to sit at his feet for as long as they can

All this Time

 

I Know he must depart sometime

but was Sure he’d outlive Me

just as stubborn as could be

he’d Never succumb to the Universe’s orders

but eventually he did

in private

in silence

alone in his home and Everyone Shocked

How Can This Be?

but he did and we are the poorer

whenever I cook with his utensils

or turn on the lamp from his bedroom

whenever we drive down the road

passing ridiculous billboards

his commentary his persona again Living

 

I expect to see his first entry

into the Calendar of Radical Honor

the Autonomedia Calendar of Jubilee Saints

his place in that heavenly hierarchy assured

by the youth still gathered at his feet

Listening 

 

 

Friday, June 17, 2022

Like Furniture

 

I never wanted to wind up in a wheelchair

immobile

a lump of flesh to be washed clothed

and ensconced in this chair

Every day

strapped in even

          (so I can’t fall

          but I’m not About to fall out!

Not agile enough

to Leap over the armrests or footrests

and Certainly not dumb enough to try!)

 

sitting here day after day in my sunny corner room

or the common room

where others in similar chairs slump drooling

or doze fitfully

no scintillating conversation

no reminiscences

no funny stories

just the Silence of Defeat of Giving Up

no one cares anyway

 

when was the last time

someone tried to actually Converse with me

           (not just to ask if I’ve had a BM

           or do I want to get back into bed

           but a Real conversation)

 

So Glad I have my books

my pens & notebooks

at least I can talk to my Self

and hopefully some Far Day

maybe after I’ve left the building

someone will find & read my words

           my silly thoughts

                       my Anger

                                 my Despair

maybe someone in the distant future

will remember my name

because of my pain so well expressed

that it feels like their Own

 

or maybe it’s all just scribble and junk

to be thrown out when I’m gone

like used napkins not even glanced at

just Tossed

my words Burning in Another way

not burning hearts & minds merely Burning

           to ash

pen indentations shriveled into tissue

thin bits waft away on the breeze

maybe the Spirit of those words

will be reintroduced to the Ether

and others will catch them

think they’re their own and put them to paper

I don’t mind

it’s the Words that matter not the medium

 

it’s hard to envision a Future

if every day’s the Same

           the Same

                      the Same

I refuse to sink down into this chair

Refuse to abandon my hold on each day

they move me out of the warm sleepy sun spot

and like a table too much in the way

lurch me forward into the refectory

whether I want to go or no

 

I prefer to eat in my room

so I don’t have to see the others

who used to be People

gumming & dripping

hear them moaning

saying No!

turning head to avoid the spoonful of mush

but mouth prised open anyway

unwanted food shoved inside

and getting yelled at if they spit it back out

 

I can’t refuse food they won’t let me

they’ll put a tube in my stomach if I don’t obey

they don’t know I write it all down

they think we’re all wood here

unresisting lumps of fiber & bone

awaiting removal by the clean-up crew

 

my mind’s eye’s filled with basketball games

Barbeques and Church Sundays

scent of flowers and new mown grass

the laughter of friends and all manner of Life

outside this place where we sit like objects

Still

until moved around

rearranged like furniture for the convenience of others

 

Where has My Life gone?

         Oh!

into these pages that possibly no one will ever read

 

 

 

© 2022 pamela twining