glass bead game

 

 

 

                                                                                                                MC Escher  

 

The days slip off the chain of my life

Like beads from a broken necklace

Scattering

They roll under the dresser, under the bed

Lost in the carpet

Sucked into the ravenous maw of the vacuum

Along with cat hair, carpet fuzz and broken plastic toys

Discarded without thought

Or consciousness

I am thus depleted

 

Yesterday

In an overlooked corner

A bead of purple glass appeared

Held to the light, an image came to view

A summer day of years ago

When you and I were young

Our faces lit with so much love

More luminous even

Than the sun-drenched sky

That day, so long forgotten

In the Rush to Life

Opened the golden eyes of memory

And I could feel the hot sun on my skin

Hear the breakers crash and roar

Taste the salt air on my lips

along with your kisses

 

where had they gone,

these memories?

In haste, I scoured every nook and cranny

Finding sometimes one bead, sometimes two

Or more

And each one held a vision from my past

My father’s 52 Olds, that he named Susie

My mother putting wet laundry in the fridge

Till “the girl” came in to do the ironing

My brothers’ endless battles, my sister’s hacked up dolls

Girl Scout camp and family vacations

Fighting over the “back back” of our station wagon

Moving day and laundry day

And the day my brother died

 

You’d think I’d have remembered that

Our house festooned with black

Mirrors covered

Mother dry-eyed in the corner chair

Stunned beyond belief

No child noise in the house for once

All games put aside

In the vast moonscape of grief

So many long lost friends

Now dust, but vibrant still and glowing

In hearts of glass

Living forever in the eyes

Of those who can find

Just the right angle to capture the Light

 

Alas, here comes the Nurse

What was her name?

No matter

I know what she will say

“Miz Twinin’, y’all know you ain’t supposed

T’be playin with them beads.

Doc’ll Skin Me and I let you choke.

C’mon give ‘em to me now, and I’ll just put ‘em safe.”

Quickly I reach out

My worn and veiny hand

And cover One

The bluest clearest one

So like your eyes, that rivaled Heaven

In Brightness and in Hue

 

The heart that pulses in this bead,

I know, is the day we first made love

You always looked so Young

When we came together

No matter how old we grew

I could ever see that boy in you

The Wonder and the Music

Bathing me like rain

After a drought

 

I slip the bead into the pocket of my robe

As Nurse approaches

They think that I remember Nothing

And thus I am the Master of the Game