Amy

 

how many people watched her die and

cheered her on because she was so Good

figured she was too good to age

cracked that bottle open before she was ripe

her spirit grown old before the rest of her

outpaced her time on this plane

took her cascading down the shrunken rivulets of Joy

the battered body careening from stone to stone

how many people watched her disintegrate

applauded

and celebrated her death-defying leap

from the heights of her voice and vision

to the jagged depths

         how many?

 

 

 

 photo: Winehouse Family

 

Notorious

 

 

we thought she was Indestructible

we offered her our Lungs

our Kidneys

even our Hearts

should she require them

but in the end she could only go forward

with the body she had

the body she honed to superb fitness

tho in her Eighties

she also honed her mind and her wit

on the most Difficult

the most Controversial

questions of the day

and she did so with an Even Hand

and without Anger

(well sometimes a little anger

but only when she felt Strongly

that Justice Miscarried)

 

we thought we’d have her Forever

in spite of her bouts with Cancer

she was Strong

she Always Came Back

we knew she was at an Age

where most of your contemporaries are gone

and you know

you don’t have a Lot of Days left

on this plane

 

but Still we thought she’d Hold On

selfishly

we prayed for her to Hold On

at Least till after the Election

too Much to hope that she’d be able to last

Another 4 years if the results were Bad

but we had Hopes

that at Least she’d get US through

this Horrible election

 

MY God we have No Idea

what will happen

the Most Horrific scenarios are predicted

the White gangs have been ramped up

by the President of US

and Gleefully take their positions

in the forefront of American life

as Most of US look on in Disbelief

as Everything we Thought we knew

about this country is Flushed

downstream

by the Rise of the Swamp People

the minds of Haters and Bigots

that were Always among US

taking Charge

raising themSelves Above

the polite forms agreed on

for so many decades  

(yes we wanted to Tear All That Down in the 60s

 but for Love and Common Good

 Not for The Freedom of Each Against All!)

so Half the population of US is Devastated

by the death of RBG

the Valiant Fighter for Justice for Women

for Equal Rights for All

and it speaks strongly to how Far we’ve Slid

that her passing is cause not only for Grief

but FEAR

actual Bone Wrenching Fear

 

we Sing for you Ruthie

we Sing to Bring Courage to our Hearts

across the Veil newly dropped

we Sing in Memory

of your Long and Brilliant Influence

           in our lives

we Sing in Defiance

of those who would Drive US Back

we have to let go

it’s the way of the world

but we have to do the Work

and Not Despair

 

 

© 2020 pamela twining

 

 

Never That Girl

 

I was never That girl

the one w Legs Up To Here

sleek and shining curls exploding

firm flesh sculpted Just Right

lookin Great in any clothes

that fell out of the sky and landed

all helter skelter but Perfectly

on her body

That girl all eyes follow

Perfect

Glowing

it’s she All the designs are designed For

stiletto heels sheer stockings and fragile silks

skirt hiding little

(I Did have a dynomite skirt I made from a pair of jeans

released the inseams and sewed a satin panel in the back

left the front Open Up To … well

… my mother was Not amused but I wore it

she disowned me

not really but it was a close thing…

I wore blue leather platform Boots w studs

I wore layers of nail polish metallic green blue blood red black

wore sequins on my face and glitter in my hair

Devine Decadence! as Liza said)

 

but I was Never That girl

the one All eyes follow as she glides

almost Above the surface of the earth

to wherever she’s going and people

especially men

walk into walls

and fall off of curbs

(I was With That girl once and walking

a bit behind her I Watched it happen

Laughed so hard I could Barely walk my own self

it was like an old tyme slapstick movie

as if Mae West was gyrating down the street

and the men on the sidewalk Literally fell off the curb

and/or walked into telephone poles

they couldn’t take their Eyes Off of her)

 

young women in their late teens early 20s

Every One of them Gorgeous

sleek lovely tanned

a few blonde one Latinx an AfAmerican

and my daughter of N8v American heritage

all talking about How Ugly They Were !!

Any One of them could have been in movies

Every one of them had Star Quality!

and me

plain ol me thinking

how we Do our girls and young women

make them hypercritical of themselves

of their appearance

so that even the Most Beautiful Hate themselves

and see in their mirrors hags & monsters

or Sad Orphans

or too fat too thin too white

too flat too busty

too tall too short too dark too light

too kinky too straight

too big too freckled too plain

too crooked too muscular too hairy

too too too too!

 

No Woman I have known

has Ever been Happy with her appearance

even women who Seem to Think they’re Beautiful

are Lying

deep down inside they’re Afraid

afraid they’re too too too too (see above)

even when they Act like they Think they’re All That

way deep down they’re cringing

and praying no one notices

how they’ve been Fooled by the makeup

the dyed hair

expensive well planned outfits

the jewelry

 

we must Sparkle men into Oblivion

so they Won’t notice the Real Aschenputtel

in the hearth behind the door

 

 

 

© 2020 pamela twining

 

 photo: Caitriona Balfe by Kip Carroll