I smell water the
scent as it pours lightly but urgently, silvery, cold iron-y, wistfully yet
unforgivingly from the sky onto untouched snowfields pristine expanses of
sparkling Whiteness dimmed a bit by grey the rain just awaiting Sun to burst
forth and set Brilliant Diamonds Blazing Flashing ice-sheathed blades of tall
winter grasses, autumn-dried flowerheads faithfully encased in perfect ice
jackets & slips reflecting rainbows (rainbeaux) in this newborn sun day
morning
I I smell water the kinda funky odor like someone left the clothes in the washer too long not Foul
but not Just Right either I smell the smell of others’ laziness &
disillusion an apathy anomie divorcement from the crew the gang of us the gang
of US the generations now inhabiting this Mother this Earth how do you care for
her with her tired eyes and her dumpy out of date dress how do you care for her
no mani-pedis for Mom her chafed & reddened hands, the hard dried skin of
her feet, flakiness of arms legs, her lonely back is itching fit to Bust! how
do you treat the Source of You? the Reason you’re around to share the air with
less obnoxious souls? she didn’t scrape you out didn’t toss you still connected
to the cord into a frozen back alley dumpster in a plastic bag in the middle of
a night that was too Nasty even for hookers & murderers, no passing ears to
hear faint cries and so put Paid to that tiny uncared for account
I I smell water that
Crazy Blessing after traversing an expanse of desert so inhuman so unWatered so
arid unpopulated unable to support even the smallest plants I smell Water! of
which I haven’t tasted in long enough that I was pretty sure I’s Dead Three
Days and my Dance has led me over this inhospitable place that hurries me
onward ever onward - Go Go Go Get Outta Heah! oh No you may Not stay for even
an hour a minute! each ticking second is a detraction from your Life No Go On!
it’s Necessary for you to seek that which alone sustains the crux the base of
Life
Water
the clear the pure the fresh a scent unlike Any Other describe it if you can a
horse an elephant or a dog can smell it from a Distance especially when
deprived for long enough there’s a particular Crispness Sweetness to air
verging on water a clean lambent welcoming smell saying This. Is. Home. and
then you dunk your Face into the pool and Suck Inhale Encompass All That Water
(not so Fast, y’ll get sick! See? Toldja!) and do it Again!
We ran laughing up the trail Path to the Top,
flat stone at the summit warmed by the Sun, as he lowered his Body into the
Distant horizon, spreading Fire across the zenith: shades of brilliant orange
shot with gold and yolk yellow rimmed with crimson bleeding into bittersweet,
madder, vermilion, dying at last into the wine dark pool, lifeblood of another
day spilling over the earth and the Stone emanated the warmth of the day,
stretched out on the surface, Mother’s bones piercing the skin at this sacred
place, a crag above the folded California hills; we lay down skin to skin on
that stone, receiving my Love on the edge of a billion stars, made love in the
blinding night So Close to heaven, Long Drawn Passion cleaving the sky with the
voice of Release
How are you supposed to feel, reading the
writings of your much younger lover giving Glorious head to some pleading,
thrashing woman who isn’t you? How can it not matter, even though you didn’t
know him then, the savage and overwhelming and lusty goddam writhings of sleek
bodied lovers, no thoughts of the future, the fate of the world or the
universe, just the imminent Coming and Coming Again and Fantasies of Heaven and
Cries in the Night
Milky smooth
skin, uncontrollable passion and Be Damned to the Revolution, Be Goddamned to
turn away and live only in this Orgasmic Moment! is it only because she wasn’t
Me, and my lover, the Love of my Life, didn’t know me yet, didn’t know i
was Searching for the Love and Revolution, didn’t know that the face seen in
his youthful dreams was not the one he was feasting on, that she was the False
Dmitri not the Missing Anastasia and he had to keep looking, but this moment,
distracted between the thighs of False Dmitri, the one who was only maneuvering
to get him inside her, to savor his jsm like honey almond wine, drunk on the
extrusions of the best of his inner essence, his Most World-Shattering Soul;
she was drinking his rebellion, a drug for her constant high, feeding what
could never be satisfied and he, thinking he could
at least for
awhile
The years, the decades, hide n seek: constant
quest for the means to make the World’s aura an Act, an Understanding of Love,
to have humankind Grok with the animals, birds, water-beings, and above all
Each Other; the deep dive into the Well of her madness giving succor to her
spirit while draining his own, for she gave nothing in return but delusion; she
had never lived with poverty and desperation, so couldn’t understand what she
was Stealing: the few, the thin, the hard won Cosmic Gold, a comprehension
finally reached as he moved through the heavy, almost impermeable, barriers of
stories told to unformed minds and hearts to win allegiance before an age where
critical discernment is possible and she, Unknowing, her Denial of anything
Outside her own needs, Outside the realm of her desires; they Must Be Fed with
the exudations of revolutionaries and poets, the ones who can See Into and use
their Art to attempt to help others also see
But maybe it’s only anti-revolutionary
Jealousy, the Green-Eyed Monster, believing that it would have been Different
if he’d Kept Searching and Found his True Complement in the young energetic
times
or is the Revolution Still Possible, though
our congress is fraught with exhaustion and sometimes despair, the Lovemaking
still Vital and Cosmically Delicious but Sparks thinner with Age, the Godhead
still reached but each time could be the Last, as Godhead decides to Keep one
of us
and Then What?
We Desire to Change the Expectations of
Dreamers, the Waking Times Filled with Electricity and Light, the Knowledge
that Liberty and Community are the price and the product of that Ecstatic
Communion
Who Was She? I wonder and what did she take
away from the impassioned exchanges? a moment of Nothing? a much-desired escape
from the voices, the fists that had battered her childhood? she also was
injured and was the Power of his words, of his Poems, to Heal & Enlighten?
or only to Fill the black hole of one person’s Emptiness? a rage and an
outburst that rattles around in the depths of her Lack, no fervent Fever of
Justice Won
The words of Old Hatreds still Ring in the
World, the Closeness to Godhead only One at a Time when we need it to be All
One All at the Same Time, a Smack over the Head with the God(dess)-Stick,
reminder from Sensei: the Form is not correct, does not Further, a Massive
missile missal missive changing Everything... Change is The Word! All that’s
gone before; we were a race primarily of Carnivores, Changed to consumers of
Plant life, Planet Life
and Beyond
My lover and i climbed to the Top, closer to
God they say, bringing our Love to the Roof of the World, Explosions This Time
channeling Orgasm to Pierce the Crown of Creation, to Link the World we know to
Pasts thought Lost forever. Not So! just unRecognized at the verge of
Consciousness; Cave Paintings on our Innermost memories, the Stuff of
Humankind’s First Generation, the Golden Stardust, the fabled Garden, seeded
with the Future
he loved
to dance his bear his wolf his walking man feet pounding red red road for all he’s worth his cries rang out to Spirit
born of man and woman he craved the dancing path to Light his anguish translated made us laugh his body honed to hardness his wit like sword that always cut through bullshit his Magic O, his Magic! mystified across the veil between the worlds he brought us the unknown with laughter and with songs
he loved to dance his snake his eagle his walking man he pounded earth as if on oaken door begging entrance to the deep dark caverns we never knew existed, only he
he loved to dance his dew-tipped grasses his clacking leaves his walking man he cried of love and loss the way that all clowns do through their great pain and sorrow he surrendered to the Dance and then this walking man walked on
**Jogger John (John Joseph Synan; Jackie 2 his fam & friends) died on 11/26/22 (the day b4 my birthday 馃槶) John was one of the Most Beloved people i/we have ever known or had living amongst us in Woodstock... Ever! I believe he would have been 80 on his next birthday.
i came to Woodstock in July of 1973 & tho i didn't meet him right away, i did come in contact w him through my close friend Morning Star. John was living w her then & i believe he even Named (or contributed to Naming) her first child Andromeda Raindance, and later her son Alpha Centauri Raindance. After a time, he went on his way, living rough for awhile, running through the mountain forests using the old trails & railroad routes all grown over w trees coming up between the ties & displacing the rails. He knew every pathway in the woods every trail every bramble-clogged tunnel every cave. He knew how to survive on his own but the people of the town who Loved him dearly would always give him coffee or a sandwich. He swept and raked and cleaned up Everywhere on the streets of Woodstock and if you didn't see him Sweeping or Raking, you might find him Dancing in the village green or running Backwards up the mountain often singing. He called me "Dancer" and he'd always come dancing through when i danced at the green or at Sha Wu's, engage for a few minutes then dance away, smiling and twirling. His pirouettes were Legendary!
He was So Proud & Happy when he got his apartment, subsidized housing behind the Bradley Meadows shopping plaza. He could Stay Clean! He could display his Art! There was a short film made about him several years ago: "First Name: Jogger, Last Name: John", a very good short documentary w some of his friends speaking up. I Think I heard that someone's planning another installment.
We're All Super Sad that he's Walked On, but he was a Beautiful Person to know!
